When the possibility of opening in March was dangled in front of me, I was ready to go. I hadn’t seen my mom and dad since December, and the depression was already mounting. Then, this was delayed, and I was told I could go without isolating in April. I waited. Instead, what came was a total lockdown. I could not go home isolation or not.
Finally, I was told by June 23rd I could go home, I could do so without isolating. See my grandmother, see my family, my parents, work on the novel inspired by there (that I have been losing focus on with this depression).
Now, today, that carrot that was dangled has rotten. How many people today are already on route from NS to NB, or already here then will have to isolate for 7 days when they go home (until a second vaccine, 14 day wait, and the inconvenience of a test).
When I read the news at 2PM, I cried. I wailed and my eyes were sullen. I cried heavily, and I could probably be heard outside. I was devastated. Now, I am angry. I am so, so, so, angry.
The last time I wrote about this was April: https://maritimeanchor.ca/its-time-to-open-the-atlantic-bubble-for-good/
And now, more people are VACCINATED! And yet, we still are without any rights. No way to combat it, either. New Brunswickans and Nova Scotians (especially those who live between the two) are being bullied into getting vaccinated, coerced, and told that they would “get rights back” unless of course Mr. Rankin or Mr. Higgs disagree that day.
I am writing without agenda here, I am just hurt. I am tired, and I want to go home and see my mom and dad. The mental toll of this pandemic has gone on too long, and now to be lied to (and I feel like gaslighted) I am just so exhausted. I finally had hope today and cleaned my car to go home. Now, I am… devastated.
How many people are suicidal because of this? Anxious? Depressed? Isolated, alone, and over the edge?
These are real people who are being impacted, heavily, not some “maybes” of potential cases. These are people who are being shoved aside, and told to suck it up. What matters in life if not family? What are we supposed to do?
These rules feel arbitrary. They feel cruel, wrong, and horrific. Parts of the world that had way more cases are already opened, and yet here we are. Alone, without any way to do anything. The government has more control than they ever did to “keep us safe”. Who is going to keep me safe from them? From the depression?
I got my first vaccine (have to wait for the second as I was under 30 and didn’t get it until allowed). I waited to go home. I’ve done everything they asked. What’s next?
I want to go home to my family.
A note about human rights: